Out Of Time
by Krx
Summary: Time is acting wonky. Thranduil is teleported thousands of years into the past and ends up in modern day America where he must find a way back to his own time. Larissa just wanted to go home and get a break from responsibility. Then giant spiders and disagreeable elves ensue. AU-there are no Tolkien books in this universe.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

I looked at the digital clock on the computer. 9:57 held steady. I could have sworn it had been 9:57 for much longer than made sense for time. But, then again time did always pass unbearably slow on closing shift, especially on a holiday. What a great way to spend the Fourth of July. Working the closing shift at a dollar store with only the occasional drunk and/or kid for company before being informed them that no, we didn't sell any fireworks here. Eventually word must have gotten out because there wasn't a customer in the store for the past two hours. Of course, there was supposed to be another associate working but they had called in and thanks to corporate cut-backs, we weren't allowed to call people in to cover shifts. I wasn't too worried though, as tonight would probably be my last night working here as it was also against company policy to be alone in the store.

I took out her phone, deciding to Facebook until I could lock the doors. I scrolled down my timeline, watching videos of America's Got Talent and cats running on cat sized hamster wheels. I glanced again at the register clock. 9:57. The damn thing must have frozen, at least 10 minutes had passed while I was playing on my phone. I glanced at her phone's time. 9:57. My eyes rolled seemingly of their own volition. Who cared what time it was? I was most likely getting fired tomorrow anyways and there were no customers. I was going home.

What I assumed was 15 minutes later (the clock was still frozen in time); I left after counting down the tills and locking up. A year ago when Macklemore had come out with the song "Downtown" I had been inspired to buy a moped. I attribute this as one of the best decisions I've made. Spatial awareness wasn't my thing and had prevented me from getting a driver's license. After a 9 hour shift on my feet I was exhausted and not in the mood to pay a taxi to take me home. I hated talking to strangers and I lived out in the country so it would cost a fortune.

As I was driving home I started thinking. Being fired wasn't going to that bad. Thanks to student loans my rent was paid a year in advance back in October so I didn't really need to worry about being homeless and the cleaning I was doing under the table combined with my savings would take care of food and incidentals. Once school started up again I could get work study. There really was nothing to worry about. The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced that if I wasn't fired I would quit. I could begin life anew as an irresponsible college student.

I rounded the corner to my street and ran into something, my mind going blank as my moped flipped and I went flying off it into the street. My body jolted with pain as I landed hard on my side and rolled. My vision was blurred but where I had landed I could see where I had impacted with the thing that had knocked me off my bike. I had to have a concussion. There were no way spiders got that big. Seemingly unaware that it was a hallucination, the giant spider approached me. I tried to get up, but my shoulder fired in agony as I pushed myself up with my arm and I fell back down again, my vision blurring worse than ever. Just as I was going to pass out a man stepped out in front of the spider with a sword.

"What the fuck…." I trailed off weakly, shocked into semi consciousness. It was too dark to make out many detailed, but the man appeared tall and well built.

"Do not interfere," he commanded. His voice was deep and silky with deafening tones of arrogance.

"That's a giant spider," I said dumbly. I could feel his eyes roll.

The spider lunged at him and he smoothly stepped to the side while bringing his sword upwards, decapitating the monster. The head rolled to my side and I stared at it.

"That's a giant spider," I said, again dumbly.

"I believe you've already stated that." He wiped his sword with a piece of cloth and sheathed it at his side.

"Maybe we should call for help." I could feel myself slipping away again.

"Where do you live?" his voice was fading as he leaned over me.

"Half a mile up this road, the only house really here actually." Darkness overtook me as I considered how stupid it was to tell an armed strange man in the middle of nowhere where I lived.


	2. Time To Rise

I woke up in my bed with a pounding head and an aching shoulder. I opened my eyes hesitantly trying to piece together what had happened. There had been a giant spider, but that was probably just the concussion talking. It was most likely a deer or something. I really was lucky to be alive.

I sat up in bed and brought my hand to my head. There was cloth around it. I made my way to the bathroom, taking it slow. I surveyed my reflection in the mirror. My whole right side was banged up pretty good, especially my shoulder. On my head was my favorite shirt, shredded into lengths of cotton.

"Your medical supplies are sorely limited," a male's voice practically drawled from behind me.

"That was my favorite shirt," anger was overcoming my shock. If there was anything I could count on, it was that anger always won out.

"That… thing? Well, I do apologize for using your favorite rag to save you." He came fully into view as I turned around.

If I hadn't been so angry I would have been able to see how unbelievably hot this guy was. He was definitely over six feet tall, had long white blond hair, gorgeous eyes and a very nice figure. His eyes however, were full of scorn and arrogance. Who was he to be in my house tearing up my clothes?

"Listen here, that "rag" cost me $29.95 at Target and is the most expensive shirt I've ever bought! What are you doing here anyways? Who the hell are you?"

"I am King of the Woodland Realm, and your savior. You should show some respect…"

"Oh, fuck off, king douche canoe." I interrupted him as his eyes blazed. "Call 911 like everyone else. You didn't save me, a fourth grader could have bandaged a head cut."

"You must be insane!"

We both froze as we heard the door open and my name being called.

"That's Joslin, my roommate." How the hell was I going to explain this to her?

"Yo, Larissa. I think they really are doing experiments up by Fort Drum. There's a huge ass giant dead spider laying by the turnoff." Her voice was getting closer and we were both frozen. "We should probably get out of here for a bit before someone notices it and calls the police." Her eyes lit up as she saw me and the intruder standing near each other.

"Hello there, you a friend of Larissa's?"

"No," me and the guy said simultaneously. We glared at each other.

"You must be her latest conquest then," Joslin said slyly, mistaking hate for passion.

"No." I said to Joslin firmly. She just grinned. To be honest, it wasn't that far of a stretch for her to take. I did bring guys home quite frequently, and rarely the same ones. "You just left a giant spider in the middle of the road?" I demanded, turning on the man.

"Woah, you killed that thing? Who are you?" Joslin asked, impressed.

"I am Thranduil, King of the Woodland Realm."

"Like, the Adirondacks? We're not larpers here."

Thranduil looked at Joslin, "What are you talking about."

"That doesn't matter!" I shouted. This was all very over whelming.

"Well, what does matter is that giant spider in the road. Because what I don't need are the police or FBI poking around here. We need to get rid of it." Joslin was right. If the police came looking around here they would see the marijuana field and Joslin would be arrested. Even if I wasn't arrested for it also, I would for sure lose my place to stay and didn't exactly have the money for a new rental apartment.

"Its 3:47am now," I said looking at the clock. "So chances are no one has seen it. We need to get it on your truck, bring it back here and burn it."

"Good thing we've got tall and muscular over here," Joslin said winking at Thranduil.

"Let the guards deal with it, this is no kingly duty," Thranduil sneered.

"Listen, if you don't help us, I'll tell the cops that you broke into my house."

"They would never believe that."

"You're not from around here, are you?" I asked smirking. "Two young women alone in the woods, one of them injured and some strange man dressed in weird clothes. Trust me, they'll take my side."

"Fine." Thranduil's eyes might as well have been ice for the look he was giving me.

Fifteen minutes later Joslin and Thranduil were loading a giant dead spider into the back of the truck while I sat in the driver's seat. It was only a short distance to the house and I wanted to help some way, but I didn't have full movement in my arm and I was still woozy from the blood loss. I chuckled as I heard Thranduil hiss in disdain and Joslin complain about guts in her truck bed.

"We're going to have to hose the truck down," Joslin said as she got into the back of the cab. Thranduil had to sit in the front seat as there was no way he would fit in the back.

"So, on to questions I should have probably asked to begin with. Who are you, what are you doing here, and why are you slaying spiders with swords?" I asked, pulling into the road.

"As I've said, I am Thranduil, King of the Woodland Realm,"

"Yeah, yeah, no need to lie. No names, got it."

"That is my name," he glared. "I was transported here to the past through a rift in time." Joslin and I broke out laughing.

"And I'm Snow White," Joslin said. "Are you on the run from the cops or something? Because, hey, I understand and all, but you got to go if you are."

"I'm not on the run from anything," he was sounding angry. "A few of these beasts had slipped through with me and I was dispatching them. This one was the last. Now when the portal is accessible again in a fortnight I can leave with no regrets."

"You're really sticking to that story. Okay, I'll play along. Where are you staying until your portal opens again? I'll drop you off after we burn this spider." I was a bit anxious to get rid of Thranduil. He seemed more than a little off his rocker.

"I dwell amongst the trees while I await. There is no need for you to escort me anywhere."

"O M G, you're homeless," Joslin said, her eyes widening.

"Joslin, no." If I didn't stop this now I knew where it would lead. Joslin was a sucker for sob stories.

"But, don't you have any family?"

"I have a son by my deceased wife."

"Jos-"

"You have to stay with us until your portal opens," Joslin cut me off, her mind made up.

"Your offer is appreciated. I accept."


	3. Dreams of the Future

I woke up the next day to my phone blasting "Panda". I picked it up and looked at who was calling. The word "hell" flashed on the screen with a picture of Justin Beiber. Oh yeah, I was supposed to open the store this morning. Someone probably called corporate when the store wasn't open and the lazy manager had to drag his ass into work. I really hated that guy.

I threw my phone down next to me on the bed. It was too early for this shit. We had been up late chopping up and burning the spider. It stopped singing and I drifted back to sleep.

It was winter and I was standing by the most picturesque scenes I had ever seen. I was in a clearing in some woods, standing in an inch of snow. But not like regular snow. This snow was the cleanest, whitest snow; I had ever lay eyes on. It sparkled like diamonds in the twilight. I imagine this is what snow must look like on some reclusive Tibetan monastery where pollution and population can't dirty it.

The trees where maple and birch, larger than what they should have been able to grow to. I turned around and found myself entranced by a small lake. It was crystal clear and looked freezing, but wasn't frozen yet. It must have been the beginning of winter wherever this was.

Thranduil stood on the other side of the lake, seemingly lost in thought. He was dressed differently than the long cloak and street clothes he had been wearing when I first saw him. He was wearing what appeared to be a floor length coat with a high collar and leggings. It was difficult to see so far, but he also appeared to be wearing some sort of crown or head dress.

I continued to stare as an old man in a cloak appeared from the line of trees. Thranduil acknowledged him. They seemed to argue for a moment before the old man handed a cloak to Thranduil. Suddenly, giant spiders appeared.

Watching Thranduil fight was like watching a prima ballerina dance. He was graceful, sure of himself, and gave himself fully to his art. He had dispatched a few spiders, but then a bright light flashed and he and the spiders were gone.

"Panda Panda Panda Panda," I woke with a start and grabbed my phone. It was Hell again.

"I got broads in Atlanta," I picked up the phone. Might as well get it over with I guess.

"Hello?" I murmured, still half asleep.

"Larissa? This is Carl." Oh, Carl. How I hated Carl.

"Yeah?" I was going to play this as cold as I could.

"You never showed up for your shift this morning. Customers called corporate. This is something you can be fired over." Gods, even his voice was whiney.

"Well, you probably shouldn't have had me closing and opening the next morning."

"And, you also closed by yourself last night? Two people are supposed to be in the store at all times." Carl was obviously not going to listen to me.

"You knew I was going to be by myself when you told me Dan had called in for that night," I tried to reason with him.

"That's not the point-"

"Listen Carl, I don't care what your point is. I'm going to have my roommate drop off my keys and you can go fuck yourself." I hung up.

I made my way to the shower and got ready for the day, brushing my teeth, putting on clothing, make-up, etc. When I was finished I grabbed an off brand cola and some left over goulash from the fridge and made my way to the porch.

Joslin sat in a rocking chair with her feet on the railing, paying rapt attention to Thranduil who was in the front yard chopping wood shirtless.

"Well, damn, those are abs," I said joining her in another rocking chair.

"Yep, this was a good idea."

"Yep." We both took a long swig from our respective cola cans.

"So, how are you feeling this morning?" Joslin asked.

"So-so. My body hurts, but the Advil is starting to kick in. Work called."

"Yeah?" Joslin hated Carl also and couldn't understand why I worked for him.

"I told them to fuck off. Fucking Carl."

"We should have a celebration. Let's go out tonight!" Joslin loved bar hopping.

"Joslin, I'm 19."

"So what? I know a place that won't card as long as you're slutty looking enough."

I thought it over for a minute. I had only ever been to house parties and karaoke before. It would be fun to go to a bar and drink and stuff. And this was the perfect opportunity.

"Okay, let's go. What are we going to do about Thranduil though? I don't feel safe having him in the house alone yet."

"That's no problem," Joslin said, "We'll just take him with us. Hey, we're going out tonight, you're coming with us!" Joslin shouted to Thranduil.

Thranduil looked up and nodded after thinking for a moment.

"I guess that's a yes," I said giggling. "Has he eaten yet?"

"Earlier, but I'm sure he's got to be getting tired. He's chopped enough wood to last for a month. I'm thinking about taking him to town to get him a set of decent clothes. If he's going to be working like this I would feel guilty not repaying him somehow." Joslin said.

"Yeah, let me know when you go, I want to get out too. Can you drop these keys off at my work? I never want to set foot in there again."

"Sure thing," Joslin said smirking. I wondered how she was going to mess with Carl.

"Hey," I got off the porch and approached Thranduil. "Why don't you take a break and shower and stuff? We're going to town to get you some clothes."

"These clothes you wear are drab, I would rather not."

"Look at it like a favor. We can't have you partying with us looking like you lived in the woods for a month."

"I've been living in the woods on and off for four months and I have other clothes with my tent, which I shall fetch today."

"Four months? How have you been living in the woods for four months?" I asked in amazement.

"I've been moving frequently, hunting the spiders and taking odd jobs here and there. Occasionally I would rent a hotel room, but nature provides everything I need."

"Well, I've got to drop my keys off at this job I just quit and I don't want you here alone yet. We can stop by where your tent is and get your stuff too. Where is it?"

"Not twenty minutes from where we encountered first." His eyebrows rose. "I cannot figure out why you and your friend are helping me. You are but peasants and owe no hospitality."

"Joslin has a soft heart," I said. I couldn't think of why I was going along with it except for common decency, so I left it at that.

"Joslin is getting ready now, why don't we go get your stuff now and save some time?" I suggested. There was no point in Joslin having to spend an hour getting Thranduil's stuff when she didn't need to.

"Yes, the day is at its prime already," Thranduil said.


End file.
